Movie Review Website

One of the hardest jobs we parents have is deciding what movies we allow our children to watch. We have tried to preview movies for the kids so we can determine if they're appropriate. Just because a movie is rated G doesn't mean my kids need to watch it, you know?

I found a movie review website that has helped make our job a little easier. It's called Kids in Mind and it has become my go-to resource when deciding if we'll take the kids to the movies. Or even if we'll rent a certain movie from Netflix.

Kids in Mind rates movies in three categories, sex & nudity, violence & gore, and profanity. Each category is given a score from 1 to 10. Then the site breaks down each category with specific examples (without giving away the storyline) so parents can determine if a movie is right for their children. It's very thorough and much more helpful than the MPAA's rating system which is very generic.

So the next time you're trying to decide what move to watch, check out Kids in Mind. It will take a lot of the guesswork out of your choice.

Encouraging success in your children

Last week I went to a homeschooling conference where Jeannie Fulbright was one of the keynote speakers. I learned so much in her sessions that I wanted to share some of it with you. Much of it is geared toward homeschooling, but many of the principles I learned can be applied to all our of children.

The first session, "Encouraging Success in Your Children," was especially helpful to me. Here's why.

I'm a comparer. That means that deep down I worry my kids aren't measuring up academically with their classroom schooled counterparts. I'm afraid they won't succeed in life because I won't have equipped them properly. This session pretty much shot down all of my doubts and helped me see that God's definition of success is usually much different than most standards of success we see in today's world.

First, what is success? Most people would define success as getting a decent job and making enough money to maintain a certain standard of living. But that's not God's view. God has a purpose for each of our children to fulfill. When they've accomplished that, they are successful in His eyes.

Our job as parents is to cooperate with God by helping them find His purpose. We're not supposed to choose the path for them! It's so easy to fall into the trap of pushing them toward getting a job we think might be good for them. Instead, we need to let God lead them and show them how to be sensitive to His calling.

Here are some practical ways to do that.

1. Nurture their talents and gifts. God gave them those abilities for a reason. Allow them time to pursue their passions. Take the time for music lessons or sports if that's what they're good at. Focus on the mastery of their talents because that's what they'll use in the future to fulfill God's purpose for their lives.

2. Don't focus on their weaknesses. Lovingly work to bring them up to par, but don't spend so much time on their worst subject that they end up feeling like failures. No one has to learn everything before graduating from high school.

3. Adjust your expectations. Just because you loved a certain subject doesn't mean your child will. Don't expect them to be you. What you envision for their future might not be God's vision for them. You may dream of your son becoming a doctor or your daughter becoming an attorney. God might want them to work for a non-profit organization making next to nothing. If that is His design for them, they are successful whether they're bringing in the big bucks or not.

4. Give them the freedom to change directions if necessary. Some children say they know what they want to be when they grow up and never waver from that goal. Others change their minds every week. Right now the Princess wants to be a ballerina, then an ice skater, and later a paleontologist. Make sure your children know you support them as they seek God's will. Pray with them and ask God for guidance. Each step they take is molding them into the person God wants them to be.

5. Most importantly, teach them to walk with God. Academics are important, but it's vital that your children know God. Discuss spiritual truths with them, not just Bible stories they know by heart. Delve into the lessons of those stories. If they're going through a rough time spiritually, set the academics aside until the spiritual battle is won. Their relationship with God is more important than the grade they make on a quiz or test.

Whoa! That last one is tough for me! I don't have time to deal with a bad attitude....we MUST finish our math lesson! How many times have I done that? Gulp!

I know I have a lot to work on to encourage my children to be successful. I want my view of success (and theirs) to be in line with God's view.

Helicopter vs. Free Range - what do you think?

You know what a helicopter parent is, right? One who hovers and never let their children fend for themselves. These are the parents who fight every battle for their children and never teach them how to handle situations on their own. These are the parents who call college deans and ask that their child's grade be changed.

What about a free range kid? Lenore Skenazy wrote a book about it after her experience letting her 9-yr-old ride the NY subway by himself and getting lots of criticism for it. She argues that we overprotect our kids so much that we fail to make them self-reliant. And while we've all heard someone say "Well, times have changed," or even said it ourselves, statistically crimes against children aren't higher than they were when we were kids. We just hear more about them thanks to the advent of round-the-clock news networks.

I thought back to my childhood, roaming the woods and hills of West Virginia. My brothers and I rode our bikes everywhere. When I was in kindergarten, the school bus dropped me off at the end of our dirt road and I walked about a quarter mile home all by myself. Sometimes Mom packed our lunches and we explored the countryside around us all day long. We walked to the playground at the end of the road by ourselves and looked out for each other with no adult supervision. When Mom went grocery shopping, she left us in the car (windows all rolled down in the summer) and we all survived.

Were there dangers then just like there are now? Could we have been abducted or gotten hurt? Sure. So why did our parents feel safe letting us take care of ourselves? And why do I cringe now at letting my kids cross the street and walk to the mailbox?

Common sense tells me that I can't protect my kids from every single thing that could harm them. My heart tells me that I should clutch them to me and never, ever let them out of my sight.

So here's my question. How do you let go of the paranoia and allow your children to learn to take care of themselves without feeling like a negligent parent? What do you think?